The 3 Helps principle or a recipe for lifelong fulfilment (Part 2 of 3)

Positive Minds | Positive Stories | Edition 021

Principle #2: Offer Help.

This story takes place in the early 2000s. One early morning around 9 a.m., as I was passing by the meeting room, I heard the voice of my colleague Aly, the head of the sponsorship department. I went in to say hello!

Aly was standing there with a dozen of his colleagues in the middle of several batches of stacked papers; each one working on a batch and deciphering I don't know what. After the customary greetings, my natural curiosity led me to ask Aly what he and all his entire team were working on.

"We are producing the quarterly reports of the sponsored children" he retorted. Then he added, "Given that there are more than 25,000 sponsored children, my entire team needs several days to complete this task on time".

Wishing to learn more, I asked Aly to explain the whole process from A to Z. He did so and gave me a short presentation of about ten minutes. It was then that I understood why the entire team was being mobilised. However, I quickly realised that the process could be automated at no cost.

"But, Aly, you don't need to mobilise all these people for several days to do this work. One person can do it in 15 minutes...". Aly smirked with a mocking smile and was about to dismiss me when I insisted: "Can we work on your computer for a moment?”. Dubious and thinking that I will certainly waste his precious time, he accepted my request not without remorse.

In less than 5 minutes, I created an ODBC (Open Database Connectivity) link between Microsoft Excel and sponsored children's database. And then in another 5 minutes, I created a dozen or so queries using pivot tables to organise and analyse the data of the 25,000 sponsored children: by age group, by the level of education, by family size, by location, by average distance to a health post or school etc.

Aly could not believe it. In 10 minutes, I had just accomplished what he and his whole team took 2 to 3 days to complete. He looked at me, relieved but shocked. "What's the matter? "I asked him. "Nothing. I just think of all the time I have lost these past few years. You can't even imagine," he replied.

Without realising it, I had just offered Aly and his team a huge boost.

This story illustrates the second principle of Help: offer help. It meets three criteria: it is voluntary and spontaneous, it solves a problem, and you don't expect anything in return.

Offer help voluntarily and spontaneously

When you really want to help someone, help him or her without waiting to be asked. People don't ask for help for all kinds of reasons. They may think they are bothering you with their personal problems. They may think you can't help them anyway, so why bother. They may think that asking for help means they are weak or incompetent. Or their ego may simply prevent them from asking for help. By offering your help voluntarily and spontaneously, you remove these barriers.

Offer help to solve a problem.

You should not help just for the sake of helping; otherwise, your help may cause more damage than solutions. Make sure that your help will solve a specific problem facing the person, no matter how small. That way, it will be appreciated, and its impact will be lasting.

Offer help without expecting anything in return.

Nelson Mandela, in his great wisdom, teaches us that "there can be no greater gift than giving one's time and energy to help others without expecting anything in return". Unfortunately, these days, when people help you, they often expect something in return. And worse, they want you to be indebted to them forever. They may even gossip about you. This may be one of the reasons why people are reluctant to ask for help.

As soon as offering help becomes a barter market, it no longer makes sense. If you want to have a real, positive and lasting impact, offer your help voluntarily; offer it to solve a problem; and, offer it without expecting anything in return.

If you want to have a real, positive and lasting impact, offer your help voluntarily; offer it to solve a problem; and, offer it without expecting anything in return.

Next week, I will talk about the third and final "Help": ask for help.

If you miss the first part, help yourself, you can read it here.

Stay tuned.