Day 13: The Pulling Crab vs. The Lifting Gorilla

Some hold others back without ever raising their voice, while others lift without stepping into the spotlight. There is a silent tension between the two, which shapes the culture of every team.

Yesterday, we explored how we treat shared resources, with the Wasteful Boar and the Prudent Squirrel. Today, we shift the lens from how we spend money to how we spend something even more valuable: social energy. In every team, the quiet decisions we make — to lift or to pull — determine not only who rises but whether rising feels safe at all.

🦀 The Pulling Crab

The Pulling Crab doesn’t shout, block, or overtly resist. It simply reacts, in small, calculated moments, to slow others down.

It might offer unsolicited caution when someone shares a bold idea: “You know that’s been tried before.” Or dampen a moment of good news with a quiet “Let’s see how long that lasts.” When a teammate puts themselves forward, the Crab responds with muted scepticism: “Isn’t that a bit ambitious?”

Their tone isn’t harsh. If anything, it’s wrapped in care. They say they’re just being realistic, that they’ve seen too much to buy into naive optimism. That they’re only trying to save others from disappointment. But beneath the realism lies something more personal: fear.

The Pulling Crab isn’t trying to destroy others — it’s trying not to be left behind. Growth around them feels threatening. Recognition elsewhere feels like a subtraction. The idea of someone escaping the bucket unsettles them, so they keep the walls high and the legs pulled low.

There’s no malice. Just a quiet resistance to anyone going further than they did. And over time, ambition starts to shrink in their presence. Not because it’s wrong, but because no one wants to climb alone.

🦍 The Lifting Gorilla

By contrast, the Lifting Gorilla moves through the team with calm strength and purposeful encouragement.

When someone shares an idea, they don’t look for reasons it might fail — they look for ways to help it land. When someone applies for a promotion, they’re the first to write a note of support. If a teammate succeeds, they celebrate — not with performative praise, but with genuine presence.

The Gorilla doesn’t need to dominate the room. They don’t insert themselves into every conversation. But when they do speak, their words elevate, not compete. They offer advice that empowers rather than controls, support that’s felt but not flaunted.

What sets them apart isn’t just that they want others to grow — it’s that they don’t see that growth as a threat. They see it as a signal of collective strength. The more people climb, the stronger the ground beneath the team becomes. And they move accordingly — not to be at the top alone, but to create a space where others can rise too.

Over time, the gorilla builds not just success but safety, not just outcomes but culture, and a quiet confidence that says, “You don’t have to shrink to belong.”

🔍 The Reflection

The Crab and the Gorilla both operate with influence. Both shape how ambition and momentum feel in a team. But one narrows the space. The other expands it.

The Pulling Crab acts from fear — a fear of being left out, outpaced, or forgotten. It holds others back not to harm, but to stay close. The Lifting Gorilla acts from abundance — the belief that one person’s rise doesn’t diminish another’s, but strengthens everyone.

And in the day-to-day, it’s rarely about big moves. It’s the subtle things: the look during someone’s moment, the tone when someone shares an idea, the question that either encourages or erodes.

So ask yourself: When someone around you grows, do you feel smaller — or do you grow with them? And when you speak, do you open a door, or gently, unknowingly?

📌 Did You Know?

The metaphor of the “crab mentality” comes from a real observation: when crabs are placed in a bucket, any one of them could escape on its own. But when one tries to climb out, the others instinctively pull it back down. No individual crab intends to harm, but collectively, they prevent any from rising.

Gorillas, by contrast, are highly social and cooperative. In stable groups, dominant silverbacks do more than lead — they protect, mediate, and create an environment where younger members feel secure. Their influence doesn’t come from hoarding power, but from how they share it. Strong gorillas are not feared; they are trusted.

In organisations, as in the wild, the instinct to protect your place can stop others from growing, but the strength to lift others up is what builds a real legacy.

📚 References

• Nagel, J. (2005). “Crabs in a Bucket: A Metaphor for Self-Sabotage.” Journal of Human Behavior in the Social Environment

• Harcourt, A.H., & Stewart, K.J. (2007). Gorilla Society: Conflict, Compromise, and Cooperation Between the Sexes

• Grant, A. (2016). Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World

• Harvard Business Review (2020). “Why Some People Undermine Others at Work”

• Dweck, C. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success