Day 10: The Parasitic Tick vs. The Strategic Oxpecker

Some people stay close to you because they value the connection. Others stay close because they need something from you, again and again and again.

Yesterday, we met the Tireless Beetle and the Serene Swan — a lesson in visibility, labour, and the imbalance between what’s done and what’s seen. Today, we stay in the realm of quiet presences. But the contrast sharpens. Not between silence and shine — but between drain and exchange.

Because closeness isn’t always collaboration, sometimes it’s extraction, and sometimes it’s quiet mutual gain.

🪳 The Parasitic Tick

You rarely see them coming. But once they’re there, they’re hard to ignore.

The Tick doesn’t demand your time. It draws it subtly, repeatedly. A favour here. A small ask there. A casual “quick chat” that ends with a new task in your inbox.

They’re not loud. They’re not rude. They’re just… ever-present, especially when they need something.

What makes it tricky is how harmless it seems. None of the requests feels outrageous. But the pattern is clear: they show up when they’re hungry. And once they’ve gotten what they came for, they quietly vanish. No follow-up. No thank-you. No offer to return the effort.

Months pass. Sometimes years. Then suddenly: “Hey! Long time! Hope you’re well! Quick thing — could you connect me to someone at your new org?”

They don’t blow bridges. They stop tending them. And when they reappear, they expect the same welcome as before — even if all they’ve left behind is a sense of being used.

The tick doesn’t need a lot to survive. But it always takes a little more than it gives.

🐦 The Strategic Oxpecker

Then there’s the Oxpecker. It sticks close, too. But the dynamic is entirely different.

Yes, it benefits, and yes, it leverages relationships. But it also gives something valuable in return—and keeps the exchange alive.

The Oxpecker doesn’t wait to be useful. It finds ways to contribute, offers support, shares tools, introduces you to someone helpful, and checks in even when there’s no ask.

It doesn’t disappear after it’s gotten what it needs. It sticks around, not to cling, but to connect.

You remember it—not as a burden, but as a presence. Someone who made the work feel lighter. Who gave as they grew.

The Oxpecker plays the long game. It doesn’t see people as stepping stones, but as part of the same terrain. And it knows: relationships thrive not on big favours, but on small, consistent acts of reciprocity.

🔍 The Reflection

Every workplace—every network—has its Ticks and its Oxpeckers. Both are quiet. Both stay close. But one quietly drains, and the other quietly nourishes.

Ticks see relationships as access points — useful when needed, discardable when not. Oxpeckers see relationships as shared ground — places where mutual growth can happen over time.

The difference isn’t charisma. It’s intention.

So ask yourself: When you reach out, are you drawing from a well or tending to it? And when people hear from you… Do they brace themselves, or feel remembered?

📌 Did You Know?

Ticks are parasitic arachnids that feed exclusively on the blood of host animals. They attach themselves without much notice and can remain latched for days, often transmitting pathogens in the process. Ticks don’t kill outright — they wear down, weaken, and go unnoticed until harm is already done.

Oxpeckers, by contrast, form symbiotic relationships with large mammals like buffalo and giraffes. They feed on ticks, dead skin, and parasites, benefiting from access to food while keeping their hosts cleaner and healthier. It’s not a perfect relationship (oxpeckers have been known to peck wounds), but overall, both species benefit — and both stay connected for the long haul.

At work, too, we all feed off each other’s energy, access, and time. But whether we drain or sustain — that’s a choice.

📚 References

• Sonenshine, D.E. (1991). Biology of Ticks

• Weeks, P. (2000). “Red-billed Oxpeckers: Mutualists, parasites, or both?” Behavioral Ecology

• Grant, A. (2021). Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know

• Harvard Business Review (2022). “How to Build Relationships at Work Without Draining People”